If I love him, Should he put a ring on it?

When I was a girl my mother said If I said these words; Caspar, Melchior y Balthasar. eñsema el hombre con quien me voy a casar**... and you take a piece a candy and eat it before you go to bed, the man that you will marry will appear in your dreams.

It worked for her she saw my dad... and well here I am! So what is marriage? I remember my sister telling me that in the olden days marriage was a financial union between families. Is that still evident in modern marriages? So in a manner, it's about money, joining of the income and debt...

Marriage is defined to me by a six year old me sitting in my dining room marble table and seeing my mom and dad talking, while I ate my corn flakes and feeling like they have been together forever and that's how it is. I felt that comfort that a man and a woman have when they enjoy each other's company and they are an extension of one another, pure harmony... I knew no better. But TV and films that depicted perfect families with the parents as sweet as can be and prince-like boyfriends that would pull all the stops to propose to the special girl regardless of the supermodel women throwing themselves at him from every angle, trying to be his number one, they marry and live Happily ever after wherever our imaginations finds them.

So who wants to get married? Prop 8 aside, I have seen my beautiful, intelligent cousins and friends find their soul mate; couples that really fit that image I had since childhood; and they found them at the age of 21, 23, 24, 14... I thought I would get married at 19 or 20 , yeah that's young but growing up I would hear the stories of when my mother married at 19 and my aunt at 18 so why wouldn't I think otherwise. That's until I came closer to that age at 17, I started to think about it, but then I was so focused on school, friends and future career plans I thought the boyfriend to husband thing would work itself out because that's how I thought it works ( you know the prince-like guy who notices you regardless of your quirky exterior and knows you are the one).

I had a wise friend come to me last summer at a seminar telling me about how he met his wife at a convention in Orlando in the 60's, he went on to say that before the convention he had made a list of the qualities he wanted in a wife, and later after meeting his beautiful and amazing wife (I met her she is a divine soul) found that she too made a list of qualities she wanted in husband. At the time she was from Colorado and he from California, they kept a LDR*, until they decided to make their relationship serious and later married. Its funny because not so long before that encounter with him I was thinking about my own relationship status and what I wanted. I made a list just recently, but I haven't gone to an event yet that had the same magical connection. But I have yet to really iron out what I really feel about marriage in my life and future, because its more than just the wedding and reception, its a union of different wants, needs, and realities.

My great childhood chum Michelle asked me to answer the question about marriage, since we are in our 30's it is a common thought for the single woman. To add to that, what did I think was in the minds of us ladies in this age category? What comes to mind is that it's an ever changing era and there are different means to get to an end. So the union is about companionship, its about being with that person that is there with you supporting you to be the best woman you can be, and knowing that because of you he will also reach his greatest potential and feel good about being with one another. That is what I feel harmony is in couples; be it in marriage, in a young relationship, or passionate connection. That is what the union between lovers should be. And its determined in how they want to share that love, with or without a ring.

So yeah when I get there if I love him, and if it is right for us he can put a ring on it.

Hugs!



Translation
**Caspar, Melchior y Balthasar. eñsema el hombre con quien me voy a casar =
Caspar, Melchior y Balthasar. show me the man who I am to marry
Break Down
*LDR = Long Distance Relationship

Nostalgia and Scans

Classic Pics, Back in the day when I was younger, Baby Pictures... all album names on social networking sites, and a reminder of long lost memories of you in the awkward stages of life. Well not all awkward, its a glimpse to the past like you would never expected before, except in those torturous tradition of class reunions. Now there is the serendipitous virtual high school, college and (not forgetting to include) elementary school reunions, are through these pictures; the profile information allows that taking stock on life aspect of the reunion, from the countless years since graduation. Its funny because I remember so many things from the past those etched as hard as stone in my memory and nothing can change them. Then Bam! there goes your junior high chum tagging the image of my cheesy smile and goofy pose for all to see. Its all about how your friends remembered that they snapped the picture in that moment in time many moons ago, scanned them and now your new FB friends can see who you were. Fun times!

One thing I do remember is that I had a some common teenage insecurities.like that country song goes (yeah country) 'letter to me' that I so wish I could go back to talk to me when I was 15 and tell the teen-me to "go for it!" go ahead and tell that handsome Nate that you were digging him, to put a little lip gloss on once in while, let that long hair loose. *Y eso, my parents had no restrictions on anything that didn't deal with death and illegal activity.Yet, they had no worries about me. I am cool with how all turn of events came about from the most embarrassing to the most happiest. Yet it would have been nice to have the confidence to take specific in your face opportunities.

That's what I want to share with the young people in my life. Those that I admire, who are filled with ideas, that certain chutzpah I know they will hopefully hear me out when I tell them to follow their dream and only settle for the best for them!

So I do enjoy this way of life now. Where it comes in cycles, those good people you love and remember you fondly. Those who want to share with the digital world the great times they remember, and hope to continue to feel it when they scan these wonderful images filled with sweet nostalgia.




Translations=
* Y Eso= and that